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LAS CICATRICES DE PAPA

Publicado el 4 Ee julio Ee 2920 a las 8:55



“Mi padre no sabía arreglar grifos, enchufes, mesas cojas, fallebas, lámparas, toldos, pantalones, hornos, teléfonos. Mi padre tampoco sabía arreglar lo que rompen los gritos, los malos silencios, los malentendidos, las bromas de dudoso gusto, las desatenciones. Pero sabía arreglar gafas. Eso lo hacía mejor que nadie.” Jesús Aguado. Carta al padre.

 

Desde que somos niños, resaltando la etapa de 3 a 6 años, el padre se convierte en una figura tan importante como la madre. Han sentido el amor, el cuidado y la ternura de mamá y ahora a través del juego, buscan la salvación, la fuerza y la protección por parte de papá. Los niños se convierten en superhéroes llenos de amor, porque ambas fuerzas son los mejores regalos que mamá y papá nos pueden hacer a cada uno.

Pero, ¿Y que ocurre cuando no está papá?

Cuando somos adultos nuestra herida interna se despierta en silencio al buscar una pareja, en las relaciones que construimos con nuestros roles de autoridad y con pequeños espejitos que son nuestros hijos. Se remueven patrones que proyectamos en ellos, y nos dirige nuestra forma de relacionarnos creyéndonos que podemos con todo, sin ayuda de nadie porque decimos con voz muy alta que no nos hacen falta. Nunca tuvimos esa protección y dirección paternal, por lo que ahora uno cree sentir que puede solo.

Hoy dedico estas palabras para todas aquellas personas que no tuvieron un papá o no lo tuvieron como necesitan que fuera, y dentro de vuestros hay una herida que ha intentado esconderse durante años.

A ti cicatriz, que muchas veces fuiste herida, te abriste y te cerraste tantas veces como esperanza e ilusión que sentiste por sentir el calor y el amor de papá.

A ti cicatriz, que tuviste que construir un hogar pequeñito para que nadie se diera cuenta y silencioso para no escuchar los gritos graves y golpes que hasta los caramelos de cristal volaban y se hacían pequeñitos porque todo lo dulce y bonito desaparecia en añicos.

A ti cicatriz, que tuviste que desarrollar unos grandes dientes para masticar todo aquello que era mucho más grande y poder digerirlo sin que doliera, desechando lo que no querías para seguir caminando.

A ti cicatriz, que te hiciste de hielo para no sentir cuando recordabas que echabas de menos un papá que existía en tu mundo, y que por más que lo buscabas cada día, nunca llegaste a alcanzarlo.

A ti cicatriz, que guardabas cada lagrima en un bote para que algún día pudieras colocarlas bajo la luna, para que brillara alguna parte de ti.

A ti cicatriz, que hoy puedes conocer y abrazar a tu papa interno, aquel que siempre ha estado ahí para verte crecer y llenarte de valor para alcanzar lo que tanto deseas.

A ti, a todos aquellos papas que no supieron o no pudieron hacerlo mejor, gracias por darnos la vida y poder hacernos hicimos felices a nosotros mismos. Honramos su ausencia, su elección de no hacerse cargo como necesitábamos y haciéndonos cargo de nosotros mismos, creando papas de nosotros mismos.

 

Laura Andrade

 

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